Stupid Elmo
by misto-shadow
Summary: Sakura is forced to watch Elmo with her little cousin. Such torture is unbearable for her! She ends up getting herself into some trouble because of the little fur ball, but is it really all that bad? SasuSaku, rated for language


**Disclaimer-** I own pocket lint! That is all.

Stupid Elmo...

Ahhh...Elmo. The cute, furry, red little _demon _that her little cousin _looooved. _Sakura cursed the day she was forced to watch that show with Mina. Why? _WHY?! _Well, you just need read on and find out for yourself.

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_Saturday Morning_

"Sakuraaaaaa!!! Watch TV with Mina!! Get uuuuuup!!!!" Sakura groaned and rolled over. A squealing little four year old bounced on the bed, insisting that she woke up.

"Mmmph...Mina, sweetie, let me sleep. I'm tired. Pillow..." She clutched her feather filled cushion and tried to ignore the fact that Mina was nearly jumping on top of her.

"Mommy said!! Mommy said, mommy said, mommy said!!" Mina complained and attempted to roll the pink haired girl off of the mattress.

"Uhhnn...said what?"

"Sakura watch TV with Mina!! Mommy said so!! Sakuraaaaa!! I wanna watch Sesame Street!! Pweeease Sakura!?" The little blonde haired girl scrambled to shove Sakura off onto the carpet below, and was very, very close to succeeding.

"But I wanna sleeeep..." She gripped the pillow tighter and curled up into a ball, only to realize that she was halfway off the bed.

Crap.

_THUMP._

"SAKURAAAAA!!! GET UP AND PLAY WITH YOUR COUSIN!! SHE'S LEAVING IN TWO DAYS, AND I WANT US TO HAVE SOME GOOD MEMORIES WITH OUR FAMILY!!!" Sakura could hear her mother yelling at her from downstairs.

"Stupid, sentimental parents...not letting me sleep in...stupid floor...hurt me..." Sakura grumbled and picked herself up off the floor.

"YAY!!! Sakura watch TV with Mina!!!" The little blonde girl hopped around her cousin, grinning like no tomorrow and tugging on Sakura's night shirt.

Darn cute little pest, she was.

Sakura followed her hyperactive little cousin, trudging down the stairs. Her mother and her aunt both gave her encouraging smiles, but she could see the warning glint in her mothers' eyes. It just screamed, _'Be perky, damn it! -twitch, twitch-' _

Sakura slapped on her cheesiest smile and mentally cursed her mother for inviting her family to stay at their house while they were on their vacation in Konoha. A small, pudgy hand latched onto hers and dragged her to the living room, and the body attached to it was skipping in a most bothersome manner. It made Sakura wonder if she was like that when she was little. She cringed at the thought.

Wait a minute...ooooh yeah, her mom was going to get it! She figured this was payback for all the times she had woken her mother up on her day off to watch _Elmo _sing his dorky little song! Thrice-accursed children's shows...always on in the morning, which was too early by her standards. No, her mom wasn't going to get it.

It was the television companies!! THEY were the ones at fault!!! _'Mwahahaha...when Mina finally leaves, I shall break into their stupid little company and punish them in the worst way possible...they will eat Naruto's cooking...mwahahahaha...' _Inner Sakura cheered and gave a one two punch of victory.

"Sakura! Hurry, hurry Sakura!! Mina wants to watch Sesame Street!! Turn it on, Sakura! Turn it on!!" Mina danced around the coffee table and pointed frantically at the blank TV screen. _'Jeez...it's not like the world is ending or anything. We don't have to hurry...' _

Sakura glanced hopefully out the window, checking to see if the sky was on fire or if there were any flying pigs. Nope. _'Darn...coulda got me out of this too...'_

She plopped down on the plushy, dark blue sofa and grabbed the remote, flicking on the TV set. She channel surfed for a while, trying her best to ignore the frantic tugging on her shirt.

"Hurry Sakura, hurry! We can't miss it!!" _'Oh, but I can...' _Sakura rolled her eyes and slouched as Big Bird appeared on the screen.

Mina promptly squealed and bounced up and down on the sofa, sitting Indian style and gripping the fabric of the cushion. Sakura placed an annoyed hand on her shoulder and couldn't help but smile when the little girl restrained from bouncing and wiggled back into the couch, sucking on her thumb.

She stopped sucking her thumb to point out something terribly obvious, in which Sakura would only smile and nod, feeling like a complete idiot. She prayed to God that Naruto or Ino would show up and drag her off for one of their early morning ramen breakfasts/store sale exploiting.

That was when _it _came on. _That _theme song.

_'...Elmo loves his goldfish, and crayons too! Thaaat's Elmo's wooorld!!' _

Sakura cringed and tried to ignore the TV and the loud, horrible squealing of her cousin as she attempted to along. You know, when they blather and fumble over nonsensical words and only sing louder when they actually get one right out of the whole song? Yeah. Poor Sakura. Someone up there did not particularly care to go easy on her this morning.

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_Later that day_

Sakura had her hands stuffed in her pockets, glowering as she trudged down the sidewalk. She noticed a few people giving her weird looks, may it be the fact that she had pink hair or the fact that she looked like an utter hobo, she did not know. She hadn't brushed her hair that morning, and she threw on the first pair of worn out jeans she could find and a baggy green t-shirt that had a pocket on the breast.

It used to be her dads shirt, but he didn't wear it anymore and gave it to her when she was seven or eight years old. Back then she literally drowned in the thing, and only wore it as a night shirt, but now she wore it when she was out and about and didn't care what other people thought of her. She missed her dad, and it was one of the few things she had of him that still had found memories to go with it after he died a few years previous.

Sakura shivered in the cool spring air and wished she had worn a jacket, but refused to go back to the house. She would _not _suffer through playing with Barbie dolls again. _Never _again.

She perked up somewhat when she came upon the little ramen house called Ichiraku's. She opened the door and smiled at the jingle of the bell. Ah, a nice familiar sound was always nice after trying to survive the nightmare of a little kid who didn't know when to shut up. Really, she should have been used to it by now, seeing as she was constantly hanging out with Naruto, but little kids were always more annoying, if that was possible.

"Sakura, you're here!!" Speak of the devil. Naruto waved at her from the counter and she smiled back, cheered by his good humor. "Sakura, why aren't you wearing a coat? It's still cold outside! Here, you can wear mine!" Sakura rolled her eyes and couldn't help but smile when the blonde haired boy pulled off his jacket and tossed it over her shoulders. It _was_ warm...

"Thanks Naruto. I just came to get away from my family. I swear, my little cousin must think I'm a constant play mate for her every whim! I haven't seen a clean, toy free room in days, Naruto! God save me from that nightmare..." Sakura propped her elbows up on the counter and rubbed her eyes, trying to work away the sleep.

Naruto just laughed and clapped her on the back. "Oh, you'll make it Sakura! I know you can! You've been dealing with me all these years, and Lee too!" She gave him a deadpanned look.

"Yeah, and I think I've lost most of my sanity. Not to mention what you've done to my dignity! Augh, boys..." Sakura rolled her eyes and ordered a cup of coffee.

Naruto returned to his third bowl of ramen and slurped it down, a look of pure delight on his face. Sakura shook her head and smiled, taking a sip of her freshly brewed cup. What she would do without such friends though, she didn't know.

"Hey Naruto, I'm gonna head out. See ya later!" Sakura paid for her coffee and waved to her friend, who attempted to give her a hearty goodbye through a mouthful of ramen.

She didn't remember that she still had his bright orange jacket on until she had gotten a block away from Ichiraku's and stuffed her hands into the overly large pockets.

_'Eh, I'll give it back later.'_ She shrugged and walked on, trying to remember if Ino had a date with Shikamaru today or not.

'_Who cares. I'm going to visit anyway!'_ Sakura smiled at the thought of walking in on one of their frequent make-out moments and ruining the mood. It made her so giddy that she grinned like an idiot as she walked/bounced down the street, humming. God bless her sad little soul, because she didn't even realize what she was humming.

_THE ELMO THEME SONG._ (Dun dun DUUNN!!)

Sakura was oblivious to the frightened, curious, and annoyed-by-the-creepy-hobo-lady looks she was getting. Eventually she had reached the point where she was skipping and nearly singing _it_ as she made her way to the apartment of her blonde friend. It was then that something terribly funny happened. Well, funny for you readers, not quite so funny for her.

Our little pink haired friend took a shortcut through an alley, and along the way she began to sing. She was singing _it, _the theme song of doom that was terribly catchy.

Just as she finished, she reached the outlet of the alley and spread her arms open wide, belting out the last note for all she was worth. And it just so happened that Sasuke, the love of her life, was walking by. Well, he had just arrived at the alley when Sakura popped out, clothes-lining him with her arm. He, of course, toppled backwards, utterly startled by the change in his boring day.

Sakura finished off her song, noticed that someone had been victimized by her cheeriness, and looked down to apologize. She still had not realized she had been singing the _Elmo Theme._ Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she noticed the 'I-will-kill-you' look she was getting from Sasuke when he got up and dusted himself off. She, Sakura Haruno, had made a fool of Sasuke. Not on purpose, of course, but he really didn't care. She was going to die.

"Sakura…..wait, were you just singing Elmo?" His expression changed from murderous to a very, well…..mildly curious, but also horrified look. She had lost her marbles, and he was talking to her.

"Uhhhh….was I?" Sakura recalled skipping down the street and humming, then singing……

"OH MY GOD!!!!! CURSE YOU ELMO, YOU DEMONIC LITTLE RED FURBALL!!!!!!!" Sakura bolted, flailing her arms and running out into the street.

Not a very smart thing to do.

"Sakura? SAKURA!! WATCH OUT FOR CARS!!! ARE YOU NUTS!?!" Sasuke dashed after her, taking notice of the taxicab heading her way.

He dove headlong into the girl, tackling her like the pro-football god he was. The taxi blared its horn and drove on, the crusty cab driver flipping them off on the way by.

"Damn you!" Sasuke growled back, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

His attention was drawn away from the guy when Sakura stirred, her eyes blurry.

"Whazzat? No shrimp puffs, icky……unnhh….eh? Sasuke, what are you doing?" She had finally come to after cracking her head off the pavement, mildly horrified by the fact that Sasuke was on top of her.

"Hn. Idiot. You're not supposed to run out in front of moving cars." Sakura gave him a curious look, confused by his words.

"What? Oh…." It finally dawned on her that she hadn't been dreaming about evil taxicabs and hot football players.

Sasuke was standing now, offering her a hand up. She stared at it like he had just handed her moldy cheese. He sighed and grabbed her hand, hauling her off the ground.

"What, don't I get a thank you for saving your life?" He didn't think much of it though when he noticed the way Sakura was walking.

She tottered and stumbled like she was drunk off her ass, running into random people on the sidewalk.

"Heehee, pretty duckies! Whoooah….." Sakura tumbled head over heels, giggling like an idiot.

"Sakura!" Sasuke jumped forward and grabbed her by the shoulders, preventing her from doing any more damage to her scattered brain.

He sighed and forked a hand through his hair, not quite knowing what to do with the loopy girl. Apparently her collision with the pavement had knocked the sense out of her. Sasuke slung her arm over his shoulder and decided to take her to his apartment, just until she was better, of course.

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Sakura rubbed her blurry eyes after just waking up and inhaled the wonderful smell of mint tea. She had no idea where she was, but it was comfy. She was nestled under a couple layers of blankets on a worn sofa. She sat up and immediately thumped back into the cushions, groaning because of the throbbing in her head.

"Hn. You're awake. Here, drink this, it'll ease your headache." Sakura glanced up into the face of her savior, Sasuke Uchiha.

She gratefully took the cup of tea from his hand and sipped at it, enjoying the warmth as it pooled in her stomach.

"Where am I?" Sakura gripped the warm cup in her hands, cocking her head at Sasuke. She wasn't in the mood to be a fangirl today.

"My apartment. You were being a genius as usual and ran out in front of a car. I had to save you from becoming a road pizza, so you ended up cracking you head off the sidewalk." Sakura felt her head and winced when her fingers trailed over a tender lump.

"Thanks, but you could've taken me home."

"I don't know where you live, Haruno. I'm not a stalker." He pointed out, his tone mildly annoyed.

"Yeah…" Sakura didn't really have the proper thinking process at the moment to come up with a good comeback, so she drawled off and stared at the tea in her cup.

"Sakura, you're….you're okay, right?" He seemed a bit shifty, embarrassed because of his concern. An Uchiha was never concerned about anyone else, that was just the way things were.

"Hm? Oh, I'm alright! Just a little dizzy I guess…" Sasuke took the cup from her hand and pushed her back down on the sofa, pulling the blankets back over her. She gave him a quizzical look, but he chose to ignore it.

"Get some more rest, I'll take you home when you're feeling better." He turned and walked away, leaving Sakura with a warm fuzzy feeling in her chest. Sasuke was being kind, to her of all people. It was nice.

'_**You're damn right it's nice! I knew Sasuke was the right man for us….'**_

'_Oh, shut up. You're ruining the moment.'_

Sakura drifted off to sleep again, a tiny smile gracing her lips. She didn't notice Sasuke watching her from the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes soft. She was so much prettier when she wasn't trying to glomp him to death.

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"Damn it, what the hell is your problem?!" Sasuke snarled and dodged a vicious swipe that was aimed at his head.

'_Note to self: Be alert at all times when waking Sakura up. She is insane and believes you to be an evil alien shrimp puff. What the hell is with her and shrimp puffs!?'_ Sasuke glared at the girl, obviously not enjoying the fact that she tried to murder him every time he attempted to wake her up.

She made a cute snuffly noise and snuggled down into her blankets, smiling. This provoked a tiny smile from the Uchiha, one that he cursed as soon as he realized it was on his face. _'Second note to self: Sakura is much more annoying when she is asleep. Watch out for unexpected things that could cause unwanted emotion.'_

Sasuke then turned his attention to the tea stain on his carpet. His nice, clean carpet. He mourned for it, and then cursed the stain, swearing that it would go to hell with his brother as soon as he got more carpet cleaner solution. Yes, this Uchiha was very particular about cleanliness.

He would prefer not to have anyone killed in his apartment for fear that he could not get the blood stains out of the sweet, clean carpet. So, in case a situation such as this ever occurred, he decided to keep a poison dart blowgun hidden in each room so he could deal with intruders in a less messy fashion. Of course he wasn't getting soft, it wasn't easier on the sad little victim.

If anything the poison was worse than death by a normal gun. It was a wicked little concoction that made you feel like you were burning from the inside out. Sasuke tried not to enjoy the torture too much, because he knew it was the first step to becoming like his brother.

He wished so badly that he could poison the tea stain! _'Curse you Sakura….'_ He glared daggers at the sleeping lump. She had knocked the cup of tea off the coffee table when he first tried to wake her up, and he almost cried. He had just washed the carpet yesterday, and in doing so he used up all his carpet cleaner. The world almost came to an end when he realized he was out of it.

His attention snapped back to Sakura, who was beginning to stir. His eyebrows arched slightly when she rolled, now precariously perched on the edge of the cushions. She then grumbled and swatted at some unseen foe, propelling her body forward right off the sofa. Sasuke was there in a split second, catching her before she hit the floor.

Sakura's eyes snapped open and she gave a startled yelp, green orbs focusing on the onyx ones hovering inches from her face. She blinked and shifted uncomfortably, a small blush staining her cheeks.

"Sasuke….?" Her voice was shy and nervous, for she was utterly unaware of how she had come to be in his arms.

"What?" His warm breath fanned over her face, and his dark eyes were left unguarded. The look he was giving her at the moment was so, so……_steamy_.

"Will you….will you put me down now?" She stuttered, her eyes focused on her twiddling fingers.

She gave a gasp of surprise when Sasuke stood up, still holding her. She was about to ask him again when she felt her body slid out of his grip. She felt relieved when her feet touched the floor, but a pang of disappointment followed soon after. She just started to step back when the Uchiha's grip tightened around her waist, and that's when she noticed his arms were still holding on to her.

Sakura glanced up and gave him a questioning look, only to be pulled in closer. She was startled again when he growled low in his throat, his intense eyes scrutinizing her mercilessly. Now, to say the least this frightened our dear bubblegum haired girl. She had never, _ever_ seen Sasuke act like this before. Hell, he was never even emotional before!

"Are you….are you feeling okay, Sasuke?" She breathed, her brows sliding together in a worried fashion.

"Hn." He smirked devilishly at the girl, and her insides promptly turned to mush. She was in trouble now.

"C-can I go….now?" Yes, she had wanted to be with this Uchiha since childhood, and yes she was going to regret leaving later, but this situation was making her very…..uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable and very, _very _nervous.

Now, our dear Sasuke was having fun teasing her in such a manner. He considered her request, mulled over it for a few short seconds. Really, he should have let her leave, but that wasn't much fun at all. He liked this game. So he decided to kiss her instead.

Sakura took a small step back in shock, and her foot landed on the soggy, tea stained part of the carpet. Now, when one steps on something wet they usually pull their foot away, and that's exactly what she did. This offset the balance of the kissing couple, and they landed heavily back on the sofa, Sasuke now on top of the Haruno. She decided she was liking this change in events. Oh yes, yes indeed.

The accursed red fur ball from Hell had originally gotten her into this mess, and now she wasn't so sure it was accursed. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise? ……..Nah. It was still evil. But she decided that the creator of the _Elmo Theme_ deserved some thanks if she ever crossed paths with him/her.

Sasuke freed Sakura's mouth and smirked at the flushed look on her face, terribly pleased with himself. She blinked at him and smiled a small smile, quite happy with the roaring warm feeling that had put her on sensory overload. After she had caught her breath she quirked a brow at him, still smiling.

"What was that for?"

"Hn." He chuckled to himself and stood, pulling Sakura up with him.

"What?"

"Can't you just enjoy it without needing to know why?"

"Not really." He rolled his eyes at her and sighed.

"Did you ever think that I just felt like kissing you? I mean when you're not all fangirlish you're kind of hot."

Sakura gave him a look of surprise and blushed furiously, staring at her feet. After getting no response Sasuke shrugged and turned towards the door, grabbing Naruto's orange jacket off the coat hanger. He tossed back at her and grabbed his own jacket.

"Do you care to tell me why you have the dobe's jacket?" He gave her a curious look before opening the door and walking out into the cool night air. Sakura had been at his place for the entire day.

"I left mine at my house and Naruto gave me his when I saw him at Ichiraku's. I forgot to give it back when I left, so I just kept it on." She shrugged on the overly large jacket and stepped outside with Sasuke, waiting as he locked the door.

They headed for Sakura's apartment, their path lighted by the glow of streetlamps. Sakura suddenly blushed when she remembered what happened in Sasuke's apartment. He had _kissed_ her! She smiled and was glad for the semi-darkness that hid her pink stained cheeks.

Sakura flinched when a warm hand took hold of hers, rough fingers lacing with her own. She looked down at her captured hand and then at Sasuke, who was still staring ahead. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and actually smiled, it was small, but it was the first genuine smile she had ever seen produced by Sasuke Uchiha. She smiled brightly back, and he squeezed her hand.

In Sakura's opinion they arrived at her house all too soon, and to her disappointment Sasuke let go of her hand. She pulled her key out of her jeans pocket and stuck it in the door, only to have Sasuke stop her. She turned to give him a questioning look but was met with a pair of soft lips instead. Sasuke stroked her cheek gently before pulling away, a smirk quirking his lips.

"Goodnight, Sakura." He turned and walked down the street with his hands stuffed in his pockets, a pair of emerald green eyes watching his back until he faded into the darkness.

Sakura smiled to herself and opened the door to her house, greeted by her mother. She was standing in the hallway, arms folded across her chest in a very serious manner.

"Sakura Haruno, where have you been? For pity's sake it's almost nine o'clock! You didn't get jumped did you?!" Her mother unfolded her arms and stepped closer to inspect her daughter, and the only thing she noticed was the new coat. She had seen it on the blonde idiot before, so it didn't bother her.

"Mom, I'm fine. I was just…..I was over at Sasuke's apartment, that's all. I didn't get jumped."

"You were where?!" She spazzed out, jumping to rather…..steep conclusions.

"Mom, relax, I was just err, recovering. I kind of almost got hit by a car. But I'm fine!! I didn't get killed, I'm fine!!" She threw her hands up in front of her face defensively, trying to keep her poor mother from having a heart attack. "Sasuke saved me, but I hit my head off the sidewalk. So he took me to his place to get better, nothing bad happened." She walked past her mom and head up the stairs, yawning.

Sakura had slept most of the day, but she was still tired. "I'm going to bed. 'Night mom."

"Goodnight Sakura. And if anything like this happens again make sure you call!"

Sakura changed into her pajamas and snuggled down into her bed. She decided Sasuke's sofa was better. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, sleep creeping in on her.

Okay, so maybe Elmo wasn't terribly bad. Because of him Sasuke had saved her life _and_ kissed her. He even walked her home! She thought about this for a moment before she completely drifted off.

Eh, he was still and evil little fur ball from Hell.

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Alright, mixing humor and romance is really hard. I think I screwed this one over, but oh well. I wanted to try and make you people laugh, but I don't think it quite worked…..anywho, thanks for reading! I would love some reviews! Maybe, if I get enough reviews, I'll be inspired to work on my Inuyasha story again! Not that many of you care, because this is the Naruto section, but still…….I need inspiration, damn it! So please, feel free to comment. I do need some cheering up anyway……guess what! School's out for the summer! HOORAH!! Dance for joy…. :)

Mistoffelees Shadow


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